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Modern Problems

At his orthodontist appointment on Wednesday, Drew lost one of his bottom teeth. It had been held in place by the hardware they'd just removed, and promptly dropped out when he went to rinse. He was given a small yellow treasure chest to put the tooth in to bring home for the Tooth Fairy. Yes, he's 11. Yes, he still believes.

The problem is that he also has slacker parents and a modern economy that subsists primarily on the promise to pay, rather than cold hard cash. After two nights of the Tooth Fairy not showing up, Drew got up this morning and said he had a theory on why she's neglecting her duties. He said there are two possibilities.

1. She's broke.
2. She doesn't pay on teeth lost at the orthodontist.

His sister jumped in to say that she's heard tell that teeth lost at the orthodontist actually garner some serious cash. There went that theory. Then they went into a lengthy discussion about these Strange Kids at school who subscribe to this Theory that parents are the Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny AND Santa Claus. They both threw their heads back and laughed at this ludicrous thought. Santa is totally real, according to Aunnie, because, "Who else would have messed up my muesli." (She puts out muesli for the reindeer. What? You don't?)

After taking Aunnie to school this morning, I totally thought I could sneak into Drew's room, stash the cash, snatch the tooth, and claim She must have dropped by while we were out. Then I remembered, again, that I don't have cash. None. I have a glass milk jug of coins, but that's tough when you're going for subtlety. Oh, well. I leave town this afternoon. Fairy Bob will have to figure this one out.

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